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Let’s Pretend You Are Smart…


Celebrating the age of mental decline


Let's pretend that you are smart. I am not accusing you of being smart. I am only pretending you are, okay?


Have you considered all the rave about the Georgia voting law? According to the “smart people,” the Georgia law requirement that voters show an identification card is an attack on minority voters, like me—I am Puerto Rican—and as such I am too dumb to pull my driver’s license out of my wallet and show it to a voting official before going into the voting booth. Let me share with you several of the reasons the “smart people” are against Puerto Ricans showing an ID cards to vote.


According to the “smart people,” Puerto Ricans don’t know where the DMV is, even though every single adult Puerto Rican in United States and in Puerto Rico has had a driver’s license since the age of sixteen. I am still trying to figure out how I was able to get my driver’s license without knowing how to drive. As you know, Puerto Ricans are still riding horses to work, to school and for our vacations. Riding horses have limited our ability to travel abroad.


The “smart people” also tell us that we don’t have access to the internet, and that’s the reason I am writing this post on a brown grocery paper bag from Walmart. We “feel” threatened when someone asks us for our ID cards, which we don’t have, even though we use ID cards identification for almost everything, including boarding a plane, entering city hall, exiting the United States, entering the United States, alcohol, Tylenol, cough drops, entering amusement parks, and the Coca Cola factory. Obviously, since Puerto Ricans do not have identification cards, we have never bought cough drops, boarded a plane, or visited Disney World. We don’t even know what Disney World is or where it is. Unless I had mentioned it in this post, I had never heard of Disney World until just now.


So, yeah, I am angry at the Georgia voting law. Why? Because the Georgia voting law have exposed how dumb Puerto Ricans are. We are so dumb that we don’t even know that 2+2=4. But there is no need to worry. The “smart people” have told us that we don’t need worry about having an identification card because they will take care of us. Since we are too mentally challenged to care for ourselves, they will use their superior intellect to make sure we can vote without showing an ID card, we don’t have.


As a Puerto Rican, I am so dumb, that even though I’ve had a driver’s license since I was sixteen years old, I did not know I could have used my driver’s license as an ID card. The reason you are reading this post in Spanish is because I am too dumb to learn English. So, if you don’t understand it, I understand.


Now that we have pretended that you are smart, you can reach your own conclusions on whether it is racist to assume that Puerto Ricans are not smart enough to have ID cards. But since we are only pretending you are smart you can go on being a racist while pretending to be my savior.

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